Everything I Never Wanted

If you have spoken with me in the past few months you will know that this year has been the best year of my life, can’t really explain it, but it has been.
I believe its because God finally shattered the vision of my plans and dreams and allowed me to see my place in His story and His plan for this world.

I recently read something in Dallas Willard’s “Spirit of the Disciplines” book and i don’t have the exact quote but he said something about how when Jesus spoke he simply stated the way things were not necessarily how they need to become. The example used was Mark 8:35 “whoever wants to save his life will lose it”.
So i started thinking about Psalm 37:4 “delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart”. I believe this to be true but the problem is that our hearts desire so little.
Many have already heard this quote but it is an important one:
“it would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased”- C.S. Lewis

So…God changes our hearts to be like His and His desires become our desires and we are filled with joy because we were always meant to share in this with Him. A year ago I did not desire the things I do now and i also was not delighted in the Lord. I had no clue that I wanted (and needed) All the things I know now and have now.

My best idea,dream or plan is worthless compared to what God has dreamed for me. I know I’m probably repeating every Christian cliche that you have ever heard but I am just stating what has been true in my life.
In the words of one of my favorite bands “man the trouble is, we don’t know who we are instead”- Jars of Clay

Identity

I wrote this in a journal the other day and I really didn’t think much of it then but I’m considering reading this back to myself throughout the week because I forget so easily.

my worth is not in how i look.

my worth is not in who my friends are.

my worth is not in what i do.

my worth is not in how i feel.

my worth is not in the books i read, the movies i watch, or the fun times i experience.

my worth is not in a successful career or the money i make.

my worth is not in what people think of me or how i make them feel.

my worth is not in church attendance, bible reading or ministry involvement.

my worth is not in how spiritual people perceive me.

my worth is not in a degree or the knowledge that i attain.

my worth is in Jesus Christ. i am created in God’s image. i have the Son and i have life.

chosen and loved by God. valued and owned by Him.

designed for a reason and a purpose. my life has meaning and direction.

I also found this awesome Psalm yesterday:

“The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not abandon the works of your hands.”- Psalm 138:8

Just like a Mini-mall!

This is amazing! What exactly is a mini-mall?

Rain

I had a conversation today with a friend about rainfall.

He said that when rain falls study for hours or days it is good for the plant life and soil but when it falls really hard all at once it can actually be bad for the plant life and soil.

I wanted to know if this was true so I looked it up on Wikipedia (not always a good source of truth).:

“Precipitation, especially rain, has a dramatic effect on all agriculture. All plants need at least some water to survive, therefore rain (being the most effective means of watering) is important to agriculture. While a regular rain pattern is usually vital to healthy plants, too much or too little rainfall can be harmful, even devastating to crops. Drought can kill crops in massive numbers, while overly wet weather can cause disease and harmful fungus. Plants need varying amounts of rainfall to survive.”

Because I am weird and try to find a spiritual connection with everything I started to think about my life and the way God has been working in my life lately. I am often impatient and mostly compulsive in life. I want something to happen and I want it yesterday.

This year God has been growing (and I have been doing my best to cooperate) me in a different way. You see for years I was all about the hype, the spiritual experience, on the go, “busy for Jesus”. Things have slowed down quite a bit and there are specific disciplines that God is allowing me to see and He is really doing it slow and steady. It has been a tough adjustment but everything means more now and I have never felt closer to God or His purpose for me than I do right now.

I look back at the past 10 years and realize it all made sense, it all had to happen and God has so much left to do. I’m not afraid of slowing down or listening to God or looking for that person He wants me to reach out to or learning from my mistakes.

So what does this have to do with living in America in 2007? Well in case you haven’t noticed we are surrounded by fast paced life and quick decisions. There is constant pressure to be on the go 24/7. Its hard to hear God in the midst of that. So how is the soil of your soul growing? Are you overwhelmed? steady? in a drought?

Never Enough

the fat kid wants to be skinny.

the skinny kid wants to be buff.

if only i was prettier, taller, more successful, more outgoing, had whiter teeth, had darker skin, read more books, prayed more, had more money, had a girlfriend/boyfriend, lived in this city, had this job, was friends with this person.

the list goes on. why do we do this to ourselves? i don’t know about you but i think its because we want God.

we long for something always, and those somethings are never enough. deep down we know that we aren’t truly satisfied with these things, yet they continue to appeal to us.

and we hear people say things like “just be glad in Jesus” and “He is all we need”. they may be right but its not always that simple sometimes.

i came across this verse “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”- Phil 4:19

and that makes it all better….not quite but at least you know that God wants what is best for you and when you finally get fed up with the somethings and realize the One thing that matters you will find peace.

i wonder if we will ever get to the place where we can say

“whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing that I desire besides you”- Psalm 73:25

Word

so this blog stuff looks fun and i want a piece. i am very uninspired to write as of this moment so more to come. ( i know you can hardly wait).